Letter..................................................

To all who think it really madders,
I am sending this to you, well to basically tell you to fuck off in one way or another. Because well I can. I that's just how I am. I know you really just don't give a shit about my relationship with Denny and well I don't care what the fuck you option on it is. Cause honestly who gives a shit. Oh and by the way trying to control someone else RP really can piss people off. It is their char not yours. And if you have a problem with the way they are playing it either don't RP with them or just get the fuck over it, and deal with it. Cause seriously get over your self. You almost seem to want to make your self more worthy of peoples time then you actually are. And sooner of later you will wake to find that well it all has fell apart. And cause of your actions you will end up being alone. But then again can it be helped?
You brought this upon your self. I hope you realize that. And also dragging peoples names through the mud just cause you are pissed. So stop FUCKIN BLAMING DENNY CAUSE YOU GOT YOUR OWN DAMNED ASS FOUND OUT BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And leave us the fuck alone now, its over so leave it and let the dead dogs lie dead.
With that Good bye and FUCKIN farewell and GOOD DAMN RIDDANCE,
Vivi

slipping

When the dust had settled she stood there all alone, griping her arm from the pain that was currently shooting down it. squinting her eyes she could just barely make out the distant sight of hills. lost and confused she looked around. surrounding her for what seemed miles was nothing but desert...
waking with a start, panic flowing in her veins she grasped the dagger under her pillow swinging it out infront of her. blinking a few times to focus she realized her surroundings and slowly relaxed placing the dagger back in it place under her pillow she layed back down. but didn't close her eyes. "your slipping." she herd a female voice say, "i know nar... i know..." she mumbled back. "tis tis, an assassin should know better, tis tis, i would have thought by now you'd know better..." curling up to her pillow Vivi didn't reply but just closed her eyes.. 'yes i am slipping...I'm sorry...'

Within Temptation- The Truth Beneath The Rose

Give me strength to face the truth
The doubt within my soul
No longer I can justify
The bloodshed in his name

Is it a sin to seek the truth, the truth beneath the rose?
Pray with me so I will find the gate to Heaven's door
I believed it would justify the means
It had a hold over me

Blinded to see
The cruelty of the beast
Here is the darkest side of me
(Forgive me my sins)

The field of my dreams
Deceived all I have seen
Forgive me for what I have been
(Forgive me my sins)

Pray for me 'cause I have lost my faith in holy wars
This paradise denied to me 'cause I can't take no more

Has darkness taken over me
Consumed my mortal soul?
All my virtues sacrificed
Can Heaven be so cruel?

I believed it would justify the means
It had a hold over me
(Forgive me my sins)

Blinded to see
The cruelty of the beast
Here is the darkest side of me
(Forgive me my sins)

The field of my dreams
Deceived all I have seen
Forgive me for what I have been
(Forgive me my sins)

I'm hoping, I'm praying
I won't get lost between two hearts
Follow a sin
The truth lies in between

Give me the strength to face the wrong that I have done
Now that I know
The darkest side of me

How can blood be your salvation
And justify the pain
That we have caused throughout the times

Will I learn what's truly sacred
Will I redeem my soul
Will truth set me free

Blinded to see
The cruelty of the beast
Here is the darkest side of me
(Forgive me my sins)

The field of my dreams
Deceived all I have seen
Forgive me for what I have been
(Forgive me my sins)

To Picket...

Oks so whats to say... hmmm... your a great friend, we became friends really fast. ^_^ and i love ya to death for it. We seem a lot a like and i think that helps me to talk to you and get a long with you. ^_^ Thank you for everything. thanks for listening to be bitch when i needed to and for making my laugh when i needed it. and if you ever need to do the same ill be right here waiting any time. ^_^
i don't have much to say usually but no worries ill listen lol... i thinks i already say that didn't i?lol
heehhehehehe so -huggles-
and sorry that im not that great at picking songs but better at poems... or at lest some of them....
so....

Friends

Friends are special
To have around
They are always
There when you are down,
Just like you do
When I am sad,
You made me laugh,

When my heart was broken,
Even though you didn't
have to be there you were,
And for that
I am grateful,
Now I make
This promise to you,
To be your friend
Forever more,
Just like you did for me.

Raven Alexandria Peterson

march 26...

For a lady who ment so much to me...
you became a nanny to me, and a friend.
I miss seeing you, and hearing you... we all do...
Christmas just wasnt christmas with out you, just like thanksgiving wasnt thanksgiving with out you. Even though i didnt get to know you for very long, i loved you like you were my own nanny. I remeber one day when i had came over there, Kathi and Tracy were there too, we all wear sitting around joking about men.
Lucy gave me a teadybear this year, just like you used too... walking in the stores at christmas i kept seeing all the teady bears that i could have givin you... it almost seemed like our inside thing to do... we gave each other teady bears from the start...
i love each one. they all stay near me when i sleep, one even stays hugging my head board...
You were the kindest, funniest lady ive known. I wish i had gotten to know you more... but dont we all wish for that...
its been one year............
one year, and at times i think i can pick up the phone and call you. but then i remeber i cant... but i know your hear... and that helps.

"I never knew til you were gone
how many pages you were on
it never ends I keep turning
and line after line and you are there again
I dont know how to let you go
you are so deep down in my soul
I feel helpless so hopeless
its a door that never closes
no I don't know how to do this

I've talked to friends
I've talked to myself
I've talked to God
I prayed liked hell but I still miss you
I tried sober I tried drinking
I've been strong and I've been weak
and I still miss you
I've done everything
move on like I'm supposed to
I'd give anything for one more minute with you
I still miss you yeah"

I still miss you, and i love you nanny....

Messages

Pain is all you'll find.... i hope you enjoy it.

You've cut, torn, dragged, battered, and pulled me under, so please just leave me the fuck alone... I deserve better! And I finally have the clarity to tell you that... so stop calling, stop texting... I don't need you.

You both have become so good of friends to me, thank you so much for everything. I know I constantly say it, but still, thank you. You two are amazing ^_^ !

What can I say,... "Our love is unconditional We knew it from the start I can see it in your eyes
You can feel it from my heart".... "If heaven and hell decide That they both are satisfied Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs If there's no one beside you When your soul embarks Then I'll follow you into the dark"

Sweety, you deceive the best of everything and I hope and pray you get it.

Take care of her, shes my friend and she deceives the very best in life! Don't make me have to find you and kick your butt.

Its my damn life. Let me life it MY way!

I hate you I hope you know that... All you are is poison...

"With arms wide open Under the sunlight Welcome to this place I'll show you everything With arms wide open"

Ah life... it goes on... Doesn't it? It seems like not so long ago you were here... I miss you... I missed you as you slowly left your mind but your body stayed here...

"You try to break me, You wanna break me...bit by bit, That’s just part of it If you were dead or still alive I don't care, I don't care And all the things you left behind I don't care, I don't care I try to make you see my side Always trying to stay in line But your eyes see right through That's all they do I'm getting tired of this shit I've got no room when it's like this What you want of me just deal with it "

"I'll wait for you I promise you, I will I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend Lucky to have been where I have been Lucky to be coming home again I'm lucky we're in love in every way Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed Lucky to be coming home someday"

Home

Home, that is what she called it. though others called it hell. she didn't care, the smells and sights were something that she had missed while she was gone. looking up from her current place she could see some bright smiling faces. hearing her name she looked over at Brits smiling face and couldn't help but smile back. Brit one of the few she had missed terribly while she was away finding, searching for the two books that she had just recently gave to Denenthorn. She had herd rumors that they had surfaced and had left to go find them, not telling any where she was going. She had just vanished... She knew they hated when she did it. But considering what the two books were, her and Leigh had thought it best, not to tell anyone. It had only taken them two months of digging around Alexandria to find the first. Then another two to find the second hidden in the mountains. Then rather unfortunately it had taken her longer to leave and get back. They had encountered a few minor disruptions... sighing she smiled, moving to sit next to Brit and watch her color...
Once Brit left to go to bed, she waited a few moments before leaving to. Walking in to her room she removed her jacket, throwing it on the chair by her writing desk, she walked in to the bathroom. Turning on the light, looking in the mirror she could already see the blood coming through her bandages on her arms. Slowly unwrapping them she toke time to put some more swave on them then re wrapped them, ever so carefully... They were deep, but shed live... Sighing she looked at her face. Though if anyone looked at her they'd say she hadn't aged, but she could see the traces of age on her face, tilting her head sightly she could also see the hint of gray appearing... She finished undressing and turned to start her bath... The smell of lavender and roses filled the room...
Raping up in a soft house coat, she curled up under the covers. Ignorant of the soft glow coming from the sword that still lay wrapped up on her desk...