march 26...

For a lady who ment so much to me...
you became a nanny to me, and a friend.
I miss seeing you, and hearing you... we all do...
Christmas just wasnt christmas with out you, just like thanksgiving wasnt thanksgiving with out you. Even though i didnt get to know you for very long, i loved you like you were my own nanny. I remeber one day when i had came over there, Kathi and Tracy were there too, we all wear sitting around joking about men.
Lucy gave me a teadybear this year, just like you used too... walking in the stores at christmas i kept seeing all the teady bears that i could have givin you... it almost seemed like our inside thing to do... we gave each other teady bears from the start...
i love each one. they all stay near me when i sleep, one even stays hugging my head board...
You were the kindest, funniest lady ive known. I wish i had gotten to know you more... but dont we all wish for that...
its been one year............
one year, and at times i think i can pick up the phone and call you. but then i remeber i cant... but i know your hear... and that helps.

"I never knew til you were gone
how many pages you were on
it never ends I keep turning
and line after line and you are there again
I dont know how to let you go
you are so deep down in my soul
I feel helpless so hopeless
its a door that never closes
no I don't know how to do this

I've talked to friends
I've talked to myself
I've talked to God
I prayed liked hell but I still miss you
I tried sober I tried drinking
I've been strong and I've been weak
and I still miss you
I've done everything
move on like I'm supposed to
I'd give anything for one more minute with you
I still miss you yeah"

I still miss you, and i love you nanny....