occ fyi / little notes

Ok dear ones... or should i say ones who read this...*giggles*

I will be rather unforchantly out of comission for a few days...
its rather me traviling... so before i go i just thought id leave a few of you with little tibits of messages saying some little words...



Denny/JLR - I love you, and ill see you in a few days. everything will be ok. so relax and stay a little stress free...

Brit- Have fun ill talk to you when i get back! *hugs*

Joah- Hi *waves* take care and ill see you when i get back and maybe ill be able to rp with you some!!

Ponti- Hi

Ethen- Take care of brit please I know you already do but yeah...

Starlit- Hi wish we could talk more

Everyone else-- Hi sorry i dont get to talk to you much ill try to talk more when i get back!


*hugs* to everyone who i consider family... (and yes joah that enclueds you though i dont get to talk to you alot.)

See you all when i return!
love and hugs,
Raven/Viviane

pictures of family

Viviane sighed as she looked at the picture of her family. there they were. the ones she loved the most. all the way from her youngest to her oldest child, including the man who held one of her hearts. Yes their relationship was confusing, she had or was still marred to him, looking down at her ring then back at the picture. she reached up slowly to trace each persons face,starting with the youngest. Lydia, their youngest, she smiled sweetly at the picture she was growing so fast it was hard to believe how fast she was growing. Then there was Bridgette, Brit, now married and she hoped happy. Hycanthian, Hyc, her eldest child, somewhere along the lines she had become a mother too. Lastly him, Denenthorn... she had came to the conclusion years ago that shed have to have two hearts one just for him and the other for her children and her friends. She loved him yes and would always. She would stand by him no madder what the cost, he is her best friend, and no madder how it seemed she wanted him to be happy... finally moving her hand from the picture she turned to look at the only other beside it. Merna and Ponti, she smiled the two loved each other it was plain to see, she was glad for them. They were her friends and so they also had a place in one of her hearts. She turned from the pictures, he smiled at her warmly, so warmly that she couldn't help but smile back, taking his hand. she silently vowed that they would always have a place in her heart but hopefully so would he...

occ... sorry i need to rant!

Sorry but this is a total occ rant that i sorta need to do...
Ok for those who don't know whats going on in my rl life... here's a brief summery... My parents who have been married 28 years are getting a divorce....
*clears thought*
its completely selfish to a. take off with your child's car all cause you think that your husband is in town... b. drive all the way to a different stat just to see if he is, i hate to use the word but fucking another woman. c. it is your problem your still married to her and you knew what shit you were starting when you married her, so don't try to put it all on your child. d. i have a lot more people that give more of a damn about me then you realize so if you don't come to mine and Justin's wedding well then fuck you and i don't need you in my life Ive been fine with out you for 10 years. oh e. oh and just cause you paid for college doesn't give you the right to decide that you will be there to walk me down the aisle cause you deserve it. the only way anyone has the right to do so is to be someone who loves me and someone who would appreciate the right. f. just cause you have a new woman doesn't mean that i have to say good bye and be nice and not talk about my mom in front of her. so what if it makes her uncomfortable, shes not my mom and wont ever be my mom. g. just cause your fucking my father doesn't give you the right to tell me how to live my life. h. QUIT LINING TO ME!!!! i. I'm beginning to hate you both just for your unnecessary stress and shit that you both pull...


*Sigh*
no by all means that's not all that i have on my mind but that just sorta toke some of the pressure off...
If anyone would wish to comment please do... and as Justin and one of my ex teachers used to say.... any rude comment, obscene jesters, hand movement, comments, questions?

homecoming in the snow...

She wondered the streets wrapped in her long cloak, pulling at the edges to keep what warmth she could close to her and what chill from the weather around her off of her. she loved the snow, after all the snow brought Christmas, and Christmas brought hope. stopping briefly in her tracks she lifted her head to look at the gray clouds that were currently sprinkling snow on her head, forgetting for a moment that she was standing on the side walk out in the open, she closed her eyes and stuck out her tongue letting the small tiny frozen pieces land on her tongue and milt. smiling to her self, it still tasted the same even after all these years. suddenly remembering where she was she dropped her head and quickly ran across the street to the warmth of the library. hoping that in its quietness she could just grab a book and curl up to the window and watch the snow and let the fire tell her what has happened since shes been gone...

within temptation- all i need

I'm dying to catch my breath
Oh why don't i ever learn
I've lost all my trust that i'm sure we try to
Turn it around

Can you still see the heart of me
All my agony fades away
When you hold me in your embrace

Don't tear me down
For all i need
Make my heart a better place
Give me something I can believe
Don't tear me down
You've opened the door now
Don't let it close

Here on the edge again
I wish I could let it go
I know that I'm only one step away
From turning around

Can you still see the heart of me
All my agony fades away
When you hold me in your embrace

Don't tear me down
For all i need
Make my heart a better place
Give me something I can believe
Don't tear it down
What's left of me
Make my heart a better place

I've tried many times but nothing was real
Make it fade away
Don't break me down
I want to believe that this is for real
Save me from my fear
Don't tear me down

Don't tear me down
For all i need
Make my heart a better place

Don't tear me down
For all i need
Make my heart a better place
Give me something i can believe
Don't tear it down
What's left of me
Make my heart a better place

within temptation- frozen

I can't feel my senses
I just feel the cold
All colors seem to fade away
I can't reach my soul

I would stop running
If I knew there was a chance
It tears me apart to sacrifice it all
But I'm forced to let go

Tell me I'm frozen but what can I do?
Can't tell the reasons, I did it for you
When lies turn into truth, I sacrificed for you
You say that I am frozen but what can I do?

I can feel your sorrow

You won't forgive me
But I know, you'll be alright
It tears me apart that you will never know
But I have to let go

Tell me I'm frozen but what can I do?
Can't tell the reasons, I did it for you
When lies turn into truth, I sacrificed for you
You say that I am frozen but what can I do?

Everything will slip away
Shattered pieces will remain
When memories fade into emptiness
Only time will tell it's tale, if it all has been in vain

I can't feel my senses
I just feel the cold

Frozen
What can I do?
Frozen

Tell me I'm frozen but what can I do?
Can't tell the reasons, I did it for you
When lies turn into truth, I sacrificed for you
You say that I am frozen, Frozen

Rain

It was raining... days like this were always her favorite. days were one could be lazy, sleep or just read away the day. but today she couldn't. today it matched her mood. people always left. the rain was the connection between the sky and the ground, the two couldn't touch with out the rain. she stood out in it letting it mix with her tears. the cold feel was oddly comforting and soothing to her over working mind. she was getting sick again. but shes wasnt about to let that be known to anyone. she would leave soon, it was her fate and her curse. to see men die, to watch people leave her. she should be used to it by now... but she wasnt. for now though she sadly desided she would enjoy the small comforts that she had left. her fingers lightly toched the pheonix sympol that she hid on her. sould she would turn to fire soon she would be reborn to life again... it was fate... it was a curse...

Staind- Epiphany

Your words to me just a whisper
Your faces so unclear
I try to pay attention
Your words just disappear

'Cause its always rainin in my head
Forget all the things I should have said

So I speak to you in riddles
'cause my words get in my way.
I smoke the whole thing to my head
and feel it wash away
'cause i can't take anymore of this,
I want to come apart.
or dig myself a little hole inside
your precious heart

'Cause its always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said

I am nothing more than a little boy inside
That cries out for attention
yet I always try to hide
'Cause I talk to you like children,
Though I don't know how I feel
But I know I'll do the right thing
If the right thing is revealed

'Cause its always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said

wip.....

She jolted awake. Her nightmare still vivid in her mind, she knew something was wrong but what she hadn't quite figured out yet. Her youngest daughter, from what she could tell was sound asleep in the other room. Her niece also sound asleep. looking around taking a glance at the alarm clock, which showed it to be 2 in the morning. she silently glared at the obnoxious bright yellow color that it seemed to have. it was to early for her to get up, and yet to late for her to anything but lay there and try to get back to sleep. sackia slept curled up on her toes looking copleatly undisterbed by the fact that her master had woken up.

From a friend... Nightwish-while your lips are still red...

Sweet little words made for silence
Not talk
Young heart for love
Not heartache
Dark hair for catching the wind
Not to veil the sight of a cold world

Kiss while your lips are still red
While he`s still silent
Rest while bosom is still untouched, unveiled
Hold another hand while the hand`s still without a tool
Drown into eyes while they`re still blind
Love while the night still hides the withering dawn

First day of love never comes back
A passionate hour`s never a wasted one
The violin, the poet`s hand,
Every thawing heart plays your theme with care

Kiss while your lips are still red
While he`s still silent
Rest while bosom is still untouched, unveiled
Hold another hand while the hand`s still without a tool
Drown into eyes while they`re still blind
Love while the night still hides the withering dawn




~~~~~~~~
Thank you sis for sending me this song...

working

working on some new posts so yeah hang in there please.. ^_^


an yeah the pic is for you...

She opened the small dairy. Life’s past, present and future secrets lie in the small book she held in her hands, well her secrets. She was a mother, a lover, a friend… things that she remembers things that she has forgotten. Looking up from her position on the floor letting her eyes linger at all the pictures of the once she loved and cared for. Sighing she let her right hand glide across the cover of the cold wood that served as a cover for her thoughts. There had been many friends she had lost through out the years, and tonight as the flames flicker and dance around her, she once again would relive those memories. And when the morning comes she hoped she would know where she’s to go now. Could they still see the heart of her? The latest man who thought he could charm her turned into a controlling man and that would not do. She wouldn’t go there, not ever again. She smiled lightly as her eyes landed on the picture of her two children. Though one was adopted she still loved her as her own. Looking down she opened the book, ‘yes tomorrow I shall know, for them.’

a little fyi

yes i wrote the poems... some years ago some not so long ago...


so they are mine..^_^ lol

poem 4 (i see the darkness)

I see the darkness coming
It’s not so far off now
I wonder where it will take me?
To the light
Or to the dark?

The clock strikes
And I see him approach
But I’m to scared to move
Or at lest that’s what I think it is,
He moves gracefully.

Almost as if there is nothing under his feet
I cast a quick glance to the side
Just to be sure its me he’s looking at
And I find I’m alone,
Well except for him.

The moons light shines through the window
Lighting up what would have been hidden
All except for him
His is the dark,
And I the light.

We need each other but yet,
We are separated by those facts
I run to him, as he once again
Hides me in his darkness from the world,
So I made my choice.

It will be both,
Light and dark.

I will hid in his darkness
But I will give him my light
There we will be able to meet
Where no one will find us

poem 3 (one heart beat)

One heart beat
One last breath
The last tear to fall
As the night swallows
The day.

And darkness once
Again takes over
Seeping into unwilling
Victims minds and
Hearts.

But it dose not
Touch mine tonight
For tonight
I am in the arms
Of love.

And there the darkness
Can not reach or
Find me.

I open my eyes
To once again
Look at the dark angel
Who saved me yet
Again.

poem 2 (to the little girl)

May all your hopes, dreams, and wants come true,
May life offer you its fullest,
May you grow wise, and learn form others,
May you always meet life with a smile, even if it is a bad day,
May love be easy and last forever for you,
May you never have to carry more then you can,
May you stay strong in your faith,
May you always remember those who love you,
May you not be sad at there leaving but be happy for they are still with you,
May you remember that doors will always close but they will also open too,
May you know that what is lost is never truly lost till it is forgotten,
May happiness always surround you,
May you remember that you are loved for who you are…

poem 1

the words are gone
frozen in time
gone are the days and nights.

now im left
dancing with the devil
tonight.

all the lies,
all the scares
all the tears.

ill dance with
the devil tonight
i wont be afraid.

im not scared
there's nothing to fear
leaving my eyes open.

i dance with the devil
tonight.

dance with the devil

Here I stand,
helpless and left for dead.
Close your eyes.
So many days go by.
Easy to find whats wrong.
Harder to find whats right.

I believe in you.
I can show you that I can see right through,
all your empty lies. I wont stay long
in this world so wrong.

Say goodbye,
as we dance with the devil tonight.
Don't you dare look at him in the eye.
As we dance with the devil tonight.

Trembling.
Caught in across my skin.
feeding your cold,
dead eyes.
Stealing the life of mine.

I believe in you.
I can show you that I can see right through,
all your empty lies. I wont last long
in this world so wrong.

Say goodbye,
as we dance with the devil tonight.
Don't you dare look at him in the eye.
As we dance with the devil tonight.

Hold on.
Hold on.

Say goodbye,
as we dance with the devil tonight.
Don't you dare look at him in the eye.
As we dance with the devil tonight.

Hold on.
Hold on.

His ring

People sometimes or rather most of the time seemed to misunderstand her. Or at lest that’s how she often felt. She sighed looking at her self in the fogged up window, the gold chain lightly hit her chest as it was now free from being constricted to her chest, the sparkle in the mirror caused her hand on instinct to reach up and grab the small ring that hung on the chain. Looking down at it she smiled lightly at the memories that it brought to her mind. He had thought she had given it away when in fact the one she had given away was a smaller copy she had maid of the actual ring he had given her, she made a copy so that shed never lose the original ring, that and in her line of work shed never get blood on it. Her claddagh ring that he’d given her was still cool to the touch in her small hand. She sighed letting it go, moving her hands around to the back of her neck she unclasped the chain taking the ring off the chain she looked at the ring and whispered, “ I guess its time I should wear you again, hu?” gaining no response except for the slow dripping of water off of the faucet in to the already filled tube. She slide the ring back in to its position on her left hand, looking at her self one more time she turned and went to settle her self in to her bath.

She sighed, he always used the smell of roses to tell her that he knew she was there. she loved roses. they were simple and buetiful and some yes were dangerious and could hurt you but only if you didnt know how to handle one properly. the dark red velvet ones were her faviort, they always looked so velvet to the touch. but she also liked calli lilys, they were even more simple and delicute. she smile, yes it was sweet and made her heart skip a beat like a young girls just knowing he remebered that little fact. she loved him, that she knew....

new home

Viviane walked around her new home. Slightly surprised at the fact that she was now there. Sackia laid curled up in a ball on top of the fire place. Rubbing her hand gently over the cats fur the cat looked up and meowed softly then laid its head back down. She smiled. Turning her attention back to the rest of the house she looked around before heading to her office to do some last minute work before she headed off to bed.

stand my ground

Stand my ground~ within temptation

I can see
When you stay low nothing happens
Does it feel right ?
Late at night
Things I thought I put behind me
Haunt my mind
I just know there's no escape now
Once it sets its eyes on you
But I won't run, have to stare it in the eye
Stand my ground, I wont give in
No more denying, I've got to face it
Won't close my eyes and hide the truth inside
If I dont make it, someone else will
Stand my ground
It's all around
Getting stronger, coming closer
Into my world
I can feel that it's time for me to face it
Can I take it?
Though this might just be the ending
Of the life I held so dear
But I won't run, there's no turning back from here
Stand my ground, I wont give in
No more denying, I've got to face it
Won't close my eyes and hide the truth inside
If I dont make it, someone else will
Stand my ground
All I know for sure is I'm trying
I will always stand my ground
Stand my ground,
I wont give in I wont give up
No more denying, I'v got to face it
Won't close my eyes and hide the truth inside
If I dont make it, someone else will
Stand my ground, I wont give in
No more denying, I've got to face it
Won't close my eyes and hide the truth inside
If I dont make it, someone else will
Stand my ground

What have you done ~within temptation


Would you mind if I hurt you?
Understand that I need to
Wish that I had other choices
than to harm the one I love
What have you done now!
I know I’d better stop trying
You know that there’s no denying
I won’t show mercy on you now
I know, should stop believing
I know, there’s no retrieving
It’s over now, what have you done?
What have you done now!
I, I’ve been waiting for someone like you
But now you are slipping away...
oh(What have you done now!)
Why, why does fate make us suffer?
There’s a curse between us, between me and you
What have you done! What have you done!
What have you done! What have you done!
What have you done now!
What have you done! What have you done!
What have you done! What have you done!
What have you done now!
Would you mind if I killed you?
Would you mind if I tried to?
Cause you have turned into my worst enemy
You carry hate that I don’t feel
It’s over nowWhat you done?
What have you done now!
I, I’ve been waiting for someone like you
But now you are slipping away...
oh (What have you done now!)
Why, why does fate make us suffer?
There’s a curse between us, between me and you
What have you done! What have you done!
What have you done! What have you done!
What have you done now!
What have you done! What have you done!
What have you done! What have you done!
What have you done now!
What have you done now, What have you done?
...I will not fall, won’t let it go
We will be free when it ends
I, I’ve been waiting for someone like you
But now you are slipping away...
oh(What have you done now!)
Why, why does fate make us suffer
There’s a curse between us, between me and you
I, I’ve been waiting for someone like you
But now you are slipping away...
oh (What have you done now!)
Why, why does fate make us suffer
There’s a curse between us, between me and you

She sighed, the day was a long one. things just haddent seemed to want to go right in the universe. for some odd reason her body hadnt wanted to remove its self from the comforts of her own bed. thats when she should have known to stay in bed that day instead of getting out of it. but as always she just dosent lissen when something tells her to do something. her heart acked but that was not a new feeling to her.

ok all

i started a new blog jsut for my storries that im writing(none rp stories!!!)..lol...hope they come out good...*hugs*

yes i know i havent posted in a while ive been woring on some other writings to clear my head. and college has just started up (again) so ill be slightly busy with that but i will still be able to do all this.

*out of rp*

Kk all taking time to heal and wait for things in life to settle down...*hugs* ~vivi