occ fyi / little notes

Ok dear ones... or should i say ones who read this...*giggles*

I will be rather unforchantly out of comission for a few days...
its rather me traviling... so before i go i just thought id leave a few of you with little tibits of messages saying some little words...



Denny/JLR - I love you, and ill see you in a few days. everything will be ok. so relax and stay a little stress free...

Brit- Have fun ill talk to you when i get back! *hugs*

Joah- Hi *waves* take care and ill see you when i get back and maybe ill be able to rp with you some!!

Ponti- Hi

Ethen- Take care of brit please I know you already do but yeah...

Starlit- Hi wish we could talk more

Everyone else-- Hi sorry i dont get to talk to you much ill try to talk more when i get back!


*hugs* to everyone who i consider family... (and yes joah that enclueds you though i dont get to talk to you alot.)

See you all when i return!
love and hugs,
Raven/Viviane

pictures of family

Viviane sighed as she looked at the picture of her family. there they were. the ones she loved the most. all the way from her youngest to her oldest child, including the man who held one of her hearts. Yes their relationship was confusing, she had or was still marred to him, looking down at her ring then back at the picture. she reached up slowly to trace each persons face,starting with the youngest. Lydia, their youngest, she smiled sweetly at the picture she was growing so fast it was hard to believe how fast she was growing. Then there was Bridgette, Brit, now married and she hoped happy. Hycanthian, Hyc, her eldest child, somewhere along the lines she had become a mother too. Lastly him, Denenthorn... she had came to the conclusion years ago that shed have to have two hearts one just for him and the other for her children and her friends. She loved him yes and would always. She would stand by him no madder what the cost, he is her best friend, and no madder how it seemed she wanted him to be happy... finally moving her hand from the picture she turned to look at the only other beside it. Merna and Ponti, she smiled the two loved each other it was plain to see, she was glad for them. They were her friends and so they also had a place in one of her hearts. She turned from the pictures, he smiled at her warmly, so warmly that she couldn't help but smile back, taking his hand. she silently vowed that they would always have a place in her heart but hopefully so would he...

occ... sorry i need to rant!

Sorry but this is a total occ rant that i sorta need to do...
Ok for those who don't know whats going on in my rl life... here's a brief summery... My parents who have been married 28 years are getting a divorce....
*clears thought*
its completely selfish to a. take off with your child's car all cause you think that your husband is in town... b. drive all the way to a different stat just to see if he is, i hate to use the word but fucking another woman. c. it is your problem your still married to her and you knew what shit you were starting when you married her, so don't try to put it all on your child. d. i have a lot more people that give more of a damn about me then you realize so if you don't come to mine and Justin's wedding well then fuck you and i don't need you in my life Ive been fine with out you for 10 years. oh e. oh and just cause you paid for college doesn't give you the right to decide that you will be there to walk me down the aisle cause you deserve it. the only way anyone has the right to do so is to be someone who loves me and someone who would appreciate the right. f. just cause you have a new woman doesn't mean that i have to say good bye and be nice and not talk about my mom in front of her. so what if it makes her uncomfortable, shes not my mom and wont ever be my mom. g. just cause your fucking my father doesn't give you the right to tell me how to live my life. h. QUIT LINING TO ME!!!! i. I'm beginning to hate you both just for your unnecessary stress and shit that you both pull...


*Sigh*
no by all means that's not all that i have on my mind but that just sorta toke some of the pressure off...
If anyone would wish to comment please do... and as Justin and one of my ex teachers used to say.... any rude comment, obscene jesters, hand movement, comments, questions?

homecoming in the snow...

She wondered the streets wrapped in her long cloak, pulling at the edges to keep what warmth she could close to her and what chill from the weather around her off of her. she loved the snow, after all the snow brought Christmas, and Christmas brought hope. stopping briefly in her tracks she lifted her head to look at the gray clouds that were currently sprinkling snow on her head, forgetting for a moment that she was standing on the side walk out in the open, she closed her eyes and stuck out her tongue letting the small tiny frozen pieces land on her tongue and milt. smiling to her self, it still tasted the same even after all these years. suddenly remembering where she was she dropped her head and quickly ran across the street to the warmth of the library. hoping that in its quietness she could just grab a book and curl up to the window and watch the snow and let the fire tell her what has happened since shes been gone...

within temptation- all i need

I'm dying to catch my breath
Oh why don't i ever learn
I've lost all my trust that i'm sure we try to
Turn it around

Can you still see the heart of me
All my agony fades away
When you hold me in your embrace

Don't tear me down
For all i need
Make my heart a better place
Give me something I can believe
Don't tear me down
You've opened the door now
Don't let it close

Here on the edge again
I wish I could let it go
I know that I'm only one step away
From turning around

Can you still see the heart of me
All my agony fades away
When you hold me in your embrace

Don't tear me down
For all i need
Make my heart a better place
Give me something I can believe
Don't tear it down
What's left of me
Make my heart a better place

I've tried many times but nothing was real
Make it fade away
Don't break me down
I want to believe that this is for real
Save me from my fear
Don't tear me down

Don't tear me down
For all i need
Make my heart a better place

Don't tear me down
For all i need
Make my heart a better place
Give me something i can believe
Don't tear it down
What's left of me
Make my heart a better place

within temptation- frozen

I can't feel my senses
I just feel the cold
All colors seem to fade away
I can't reach my soul

I would stop running
If I knew there was a chance
It tears me apart to sacrifice it all
But I'm forced to let go

Tell me I'm frozen but what can I do?
Can't tell the reasons, I did it for you
When lies turn into truth, I sacrificed for you
You say that I am frozen but what can I do?

I can feel your sorrow

You won't forgive me
But I know, you'll be alright
It tears me apart that you will never know
But I have to let go

Tell me I'm frozen but what can I do?
Can't tell the reasons, I did it for you
When lies turn into truth, I sacrificed for you
You say that I am frozen but what can I do?

Everything will slip away
Shattered pieces will remain
When memories fade into emptiness
Only time will tell it's tale, if it all has been in vain

I can't feel my senses
I just feel the cold

Frozen
What can I do?
Frozen

Tell me I'm frozen but what can I do?
Can't tell the reasons, I did it for you
When lies turn into truth, I sacrificed for you
You say that I am frozen, Frozen

Rain

It was raining... days like this were always her favorite. days were one could be lazy, sleep or just read away the day. but today she couldn't. today it matched her mood. people always left. the rain was the connection between the sky and the ground, the two couldn't touch with out the rain. she stood out in it letting it mix with her tears. the cold feel was oddly comforting and soothing to her over working mind. she was getting sick again. but shes wasnt about to let that be known to anyone. she would leave soon, it was her fate and her curse. to see men die, to watch people leave her. she should be used to it by now... but she wasnt. for now though she sadly desided she would enjoy the small comforts that she had left. her fingers lightly toched the pheonix sympol that she hid on her. sould she would turn to fire soon she would be reborn to life again... it was fate... it was a curse...